How to Nurture Kindness in Kids Who Already Practice Kindness

If you take the time to really watch children at play and in interactions with other children, you have to admit that they are pretty amazing. They are open to new people and ideas, wowed by exciting adventures, love to learn in new and different ways, and do things that give us great pride and hope.

Research has shown time and time again that kids even as young as 14 months old exhibit innate goodness toward others.  As they grow, though, they learn what they live.  This includes not only ways to treat others respectfully and with warmth and affection but also cruelly, sometimes with hate and meanness.

So it is so very important for us as parents, teachers, community members and others to model and reward the positive, to try to avoid the negative, and to see every behavior and experience as an opportunity from which to learn.

Obviously, it is unrealistic to believe that we will always model exemplary behavior toward others.  It is equally unrealistic to believe that our children will live in an environment that is free of unkind words, actions, and even cruelty.

The challenge for us is to nurture and celebrate our children’s innate goodness as often as possible to counter the cruelty and meanness that surround us all in this world.

With regard to nurturing our children’s innate goodness, it is like cultivating a garden.  In order for goodness to grow, we need to nourish it with patience, love, and understanding.

We see this in Superheroes Club when Lily leaps out of bed, ready to tackle the day with her positive attitude.  Her mom immediately reinforces Lily’s infectious mood – nurturing it by giving her a hearty breakfast and rewarding her good mood with encouraging remarks and celebrating her enthusiasm and self-confidence.

It doesn’t take much effort to cultivate, nurture, and encourage our children’s innate kindness.  

Below are some suggestions to consider:

1. Rewards aren’t necessary but can initially motivate kids to act kindly toward others.

The reality is that teachers don’t need to reward kids for good actions because, as humans, we instinctively feel good when we do something kind.  In psychological terms, it’s referred to as “elevation,” where one experiences physical wellbeing by helping others.

However, most teachers do give out small tokens of appreciation or rewards to kids who are seen going out of their way to do something kind for someone else.  Consider giving this a try to get your child started.

2. Remind kids wherever they are that we are all connected in some way.

Wherever kids spend their time - a play center, a classroom, at home - we can surround them with images about acts of kindness that help create a feeling of community.  

They’ll remember some of the following images:  kids helping serve food in a homeless shelter, kids making holiday cards for other kids in the hospital, kids participating in cleanup day at the beach, kids planting vegetables in a community garden, and more.  Kids remember these images as being special and important and accept them as part of how they live their lives as they grow.

3. “Thank you,” “Good job,” “I’m proud of you,” goes a long way.

When witnessing a student or Superhero kid exhibiting kindness in their daily routine, saying, “Thank you,” “Good job,” or “I’m proud of you,” will definitely validate and make them see that what they do is important.  So, expressing words of gratitude and pride to kids who practice random acts of kindness will help them understand that we, as adults, value such acts, and it will encourage them to continue to practice these and additional acts of kindness.

Nurturing our children to value and practice acts of kindness is a significant part of parenting and is ongoing throughout their childhood and beyond.  In so doing, we help them live meaningful lives and ensure that they help build a world in which kindness toward others is valued and practiced.

Let’s help our kids be true to themselves and the kindness that’s inside them from birth. In the process we may be able to remind ourselves of the kindness that lives in us as well.
 

5 Activities for Older Kids

Lily and the rest of the Superheroes Club aren’t exactly pre-teens just yet, but someday they will be.  If they have this kind of go-getter energy now, with plenty of desire to help others and take action, we can only imagine how they might be super anxious to do lots of things this summer!

If you have pre-teens or older kids, here are some great ways to involve them in diverse activities this summer without specifically giving them something “to do,” yet providing age appropriate opportunities.

Brunch!

Studies show that at various ages, children’s sleep patterns change, and your pre-teen and older kids are no exception.  During summer, this can be especially problematic because they want to stay up late and spend more time in activities that excite them and invigorate them, especially before bedtime.  This leads to your pre-teen sleeping in most mornings and you wondering, “Is this how they’re going to spend their summer?”  Consider a compromise where you allow them one or two mornings a week to sleep in, but on those mornings they are responsible for making a big breakfast for everyone when they wake up. This could be a clever way to get them to try their hand at culinary arts and engage them in a family, friendly activity, with the added benefit that you might help create a future budding chef or at least someone who feels comfortable in the kitchen.

Invention/creation bag

Fill a bag with items you might have on hand, in the garage, or even from the local hardware or craft store.  Present your child with the bag and challenge him or her to actually invent or create something that can be used by a family member or even donated to a needy organization.  Maybe identify some problems around the house and see if your child can come up with a solution and be your Superhero with his or her new invention or creation.  It might also be exciting for you to sit down and try to problem solve together.  Any activity that encourages children to identify problems and then attempt to solve them, is an important skill and life lesson for children at any age.  Pinterest is a great resource for ideas.

The Comic Book

Could there be a budding artist or writer in your house?  Consider giving your pre-teen or older child an opportunity to explore his or her creative talents by encouraging your child to design a comic book or other creative project, for example.  With the abundance of electronic devices and software available, as well as ordinary paper, pencils and other art supplies, it’s easier than ever for your child to consider this as a possible summer activity.   What a sense of accomplishment and pride your child will feel when he or she presents a completed project to family and friends at the end of the summer.

Wash the car

This may be a perfect outdoor, summer activity for your child or for you and your child together.  So many pre-teens enjoy the classic “wash me” written in dust on a windshield.  Summer is a great time to encourage your child to wash the family car(s) and also learn how to conserve water in the process.  Make it more appealing by offering to pay for the car wash. Discuss the idea of repurposing the water directly into your garden or lawn or saving the water in buckets to use at a later time.  This is also a great opportunity to discuss having to wait until your designated watering days (if you have them) or waiting until after a designated hour and the responsibility that all of us have to conserve and use water wisely and responsibly.  Washing cars can take several hours and can be a great way to have fun and bond with your child. It might even awaken their entrepreneurial spirit to sell their services to the neighbors, friends and other family members.

Clean up 

This is a big Superheroes Club to-do activity!  Consider signing your older child up for a community outreach or cleanup program. There are so many, and the summer is a great time for them to participate in one or more.  It’s an excellent opportunity to take part in an activity in which the entire family can participate as well.  It also opens the door to meet new friends, from other communities and schools, who share similar values and believe it is important to be socially aware and give back to the community in a meaningful way.  So, together with your child, research which organizations are sponsoring such events and together decide which community clean is one you would all like to participate in.  It too could be a fun and unique way to spend a morning or afternoon and a way to model the positive ways to help one’s community.  It also gives, you, the parent, the opportunity to see how your child is becoming a caring and sharing member of his or her community.

From community cleanups to creating comic books or other creative projects, and with your guidance and encouragement, your pre-teen and older kids won’t have a shortage of things to do this summer.